Life Lessons: Jogger-Style

In case you didn’t notice, I took an unplanned Blogcation. Sometimes, like everyone else in this universe, life overcomes me, and I just need a moment to breathe.

Ommmm.

I breathed.

I ate copious amounts of food.

I drank too much coffee.

I might have watched too many chick flicks.

I definitely regrouped.

Rather than give you a play-by-play of the past two weeks of my life (how insanely boring that post would be), I’d rather just tell you what I’ve learned.

• Driving all night on Thanksgiving Eve in order to arrive home to Central New York on Thanksgiving Day is risky business. I might never do that again.
• In an effort to stay coherent, I will definitely never again consume an entire bag of Jack Daniel’s BBQ sunflower seeds while performing said 6.5 hour trip (which actually only took 5.5 hours because I was tempting fate). “Bloat” would be the understatement of the century. It took me a full week to recover.
• Bringing your fiance to redneck bars when he is the direct opposite of a redneck is very entertaining. (Note to self: Must do this more often)!
• Confronting high school meanies is great fun! Especially when they try to act like you were besties in high school. Boundaries are good, and “I don’t like you” is sometimes a very empowering phrase.
• When trying on wedding dresses, always wear appropriate undergarments. a.k.a…leave the pink thong at home, and opt for the sensible boy pants. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?
• Do not procrastinate (this is a work in progress for me).
• When your pending nuptials are mentioned, do not become triggered when someone asks you “so, are you going to go on a diet?”
• Also, when said person sees a picture of the gorgeous dress you purchased off the rack, then tells you “ha! you better hit the pushups!”, do not punch their lights out (or begin starving yourself).
• Do increase productivity at work by turning your computer monitor around for the whole universe to see you screwing off while you should be working. This is a great way to self-regulate your surfing!
• Children do not like Fennel Chicken.
• Sometimes children freely talk about pooping at inconvenient times.
• Relax.
• Enjoy life.
• Breathe.

Ommmmm.

What have you learned while I’ve been blogcationing?

I’ve missed you!

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