We officially arrived back home from our fantastic U.K. adventure on Saturday night. While I unpack, clean out my refrigerator (oops), and get an official travel recap posted for you, I thought you’d enjoy another photo dump!

The beautiful lighted bridge across The River Ness in Inverness, Scotland.

After staying overnight in Edinburgh, we decided to take a short day trip out to East Lothian, Scotland, to tour the Tantallon Castle. The nearest rail station just happened to be located in the adorable seaside town of North Berwick, which happened to be a wonderful little surprise.

Adorable! How much would you love to live here?

We wandered through North Berwick for a little while before taking a short bus ride to East Lothian. The castle was amazing (and possibly my favorite part of the whole trip). I’ll save those pictures for another post…but here’s just a little peak.

This is actually the cliff that my dear Gazelle almost fell off of. I nearly became a pregnant widow during our very first trip to the U.K. Again…another story, another day.

After touring the castle, we traveled back to North Berwick and had lunch at this cute little chip shop.

After lunch, we headed down to the beautiful beach. As calm and wonderful as this picture seems, it was INCREDIBLY windy. This is not an exaggeration. In order to walk off of the beach, we had to turn around and walk sideways to avoid the extreme sand-blaster-like action of the wind combined with the sand.

[p.s...not my best look.]

After touring the castle, having fish & chips for lunch, and getting a free facial on the beach, we sat at the train station and waited for our train.

Then, much to my surprise, I was presented with a lovely little Scottish cake that My Sista’s boyfriend picked up at a sweet shop in town. I’m not sure how I missed the fact that he procured these, but I could have possibly been completely distracted at the Oxfam thrift store.

[p.s...Oxfam, please come to the U.S. I love you].

At that point, I gave my iPhone camera a rest until we made our way into Ireland. As we sat eating our final dinner in Ireland at Quay’s Irish Restaurant in Temple Bar, I snapped this pic out the window. It looked romantic, and I was feeling sentimental.

Then I polished off most of this Cottage Pie & roasted root veggies. Very romantic, no?

Hubby’s meal of Bangers & Mash was even more romantic.

After a long flight back to the U.S.  (including 4 hours of sleep, miraculously), we arrived at Penn Station, and I was WAY too excited to receive this invitation. After 8 days of fish & chips, mashed potatoes, and more chips, I was SO ready to toss my own salad.

As soon as I dig myself out from under the pile of laundry I’m buried in, I’ll post the entire photo album for you guys to see (the “real”, non-iPhone ones), and give some more details of our adventure!

Here’s a quick iPhone photo dump check in from Scotland!

Rather than wax poetic today about mall walking and gaining pregnancy weight, I’m going to talk about something a little more important. A fellow blogger, Ashley, had a terrible accident last Friday while cycling. She hit a patch of gravel going 25-30mph down a hill, and crashed on the side of the road.

[It gives me chills to think of how many times I've gone flying down a hill at this speed...enjoying the thrill. I never considered the fact that I might crash while doing this.]

I’ve actually had the pleasure of meeting Ashley twice in the past–once at the first Healthy Living Summit, and again just a few months ago at The Boilermaker 15K race expo. She is a vibrant, warm, charming, and very sweet girl. Not that anyone ever deserves to have an accident like this, but if anyone doesn’t deserve it, it’s Ashley.

In reading through her last few blog posts, I’m amazed by her strength and positive attitude. In the past few days, she’s been able to sit up and even walk, despite the fact that she shattered her pelvis in the fall.

Over the next few months, Ashley will be recovering from her injuries, and will need help with medical and personal bills while she’s out of work. If you can help at all, please check out the Beams of Grace site set up for Ashley. All donations will help with her financial needs while she’s out of work.

Alternatively, if you can’t donate money to help, you can donate your miles! Two of Ashley’s favorite things are running and cycling, and she will be out of commission for a while. While she’s healing, you can donate your miles to her using the hashtag #MilesForAshley on twitter, and by posting your miles in a comment on Katy’s Miles For Ashley post. That way, she can live vicariously through the rest of us while she’s getting on her feet again.

I am a strong believer in karma…what comes around goes around…pay it forward…whatever you want to call it. All I know is that by helping others, we help ourselves. Ashley needs our help. Even if you just send her a kind email, or leave an encouraging comment on her blog–if you were in her situation, you would appreciate the kindness.

Just a little math for you this morning. It’ll be easy, I promise.

OK, ready?

2 (us)

+ 2 (them)

+ 1 (her)

+ 1 (!!!!!!!!!!)

= our little family!

This latest development is actually the reason for my “blog silence” lately. I have this condition in that unless I can talk to you about exactly what I want to talk about, I can’t talk about anything. It’s kind of an affliction. Because of all of the problems I’ve had staying pregnant (which you can read a little about here and here), I decided to keep the news of my pregnancy sort of quiet for a while. I’ve learned from past experience that the un-telling process is much less enjoyable than the telling process is.

My Gazelle and I actually had our first appointment at a fertility clinic scheduled for July 11th. The fun part about this whole story is that we found out I was pregnant on July 7th, which meant that we didn’t need to keep our appointment because I was already pregnant. Although I would’ve taken the “infertility clinic route” in a millisecond (and was fully prepared to), I was happy to not need as much medical intervention as anticipated.

This time around, as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I immediately called my doctor and requested to be put on a progesterone supplement. After having two back-to-back miscarriages, I didn’t want to chance losing another pregnancy because of something as simple as a progesterone deficiency. I already had reason to believe that my levels were typically low (because I had early pregnancy blood work in the past that indicated low levels), and since progesterone is the hormone that keeps you pregnant, I wasn’t messing around this time.

I took a pregnancy test while I was visiting my family in New York for ‘summer vacation’. Throughout the course of that week, I hiked up Bald Mountain, enjoyed several trips down the Cascade Falls and Black River water slides at Enchanted Forest, and I even ran/walked The Boilermaker 15K as originally planned. I didn’t overdo it, but I was not willing to believe that the simple act of living my normal life was going to cause me to lose this pregnancy. I had fallen into that pattern for a good portion of the previous 10 months, and I wasn’t going to do it again.

And now, I’ve further affirmed my position that water slides, running, hiking, and exercise in general do not cause me to have miscarriages. Because I’m still pregnant, and I’ve done all of the above in the past 10.5 weeks.

I have learned to trust myself again. It turns out that I still know my body, despite all of the drama that it has caused me over the past year.

I have still continued to work out when my energy levels and schedule will allow me. However, with having moved recently and trying to get everything in order with our house, I’m TIRED. Only over the past week have I started to feel a little relief from my ALL DAY sickness, so hopefully (even just a tiny bit of) my energy will return soon as well (please?).

So for now, the plan is to just eat the foods that my body will allow (meat is pretty much off-limits right now…*gag*), get the boxes lying all over our new house unpacked, prepare for our housewarming party (this coming Saturday), move my body as often as possible, prepare for our trip to Scotland (which has somehow managed to sneak up on me), and just be happy.

Not allow myself to be overwhelmed with everything that “needs” to be done, and just enjoy this time in my life. Stay present. Relax.

Everything is falling into place, and it makes me smile.

So, since we last (briefly) spoke, My Gazelle and I bought a new house!

However, the purchase of our dream home was slightly overshadowed by the fact that while we were at the title company signing our lives away, these two nerds…

Were back at our condo feasting on this…

[source]

Because apparently mouse bait is a veritable doggy delicacy.

Because apparently the dogs wanted us to spend an additional $325 on them, after spending our life savings on a house.

Because apparently the dogs wanted to ride in the car.

Because apparently I had nothing better to do that day besides come in to work for 10 minutes and leave again.

Since My Gazelle had no choice but to report to work for his shift, I was left to take the beasts to the animal hospital. I can’t complain though–at least I’m never the one who has to bring them in for their regular checkup. You know…the one where you have to bring their “samples”. Gross.

So, we waited in the exam room.

And Nikko panted.

Then he panted some more.

He does not like to go to the vet at all. We suspect that it has something to do with his sketchy animal shelter past, and all we do at this point is just feel thankful that he’s improved since his “I’m going to need a muzzle so that I don’t bite the vet today” days.

When all was said and done, Nikko and Maya were just fine. Luckily, the bait they had eaten was the type that causes a Vitamin K deficiency in the blood, which causes blood to not clot. The solution is to give them a Vitamin K supplement every day for a month, followed by a test at the vet to ensure that their blood is clotting normally again.

After the mouse poison debacle was over, I was then free to begin stripping wallpaper, sanding cabinets, and dealing with the fact that the A/C doesn’t work in our new house! Party! Last night, I stopped painting (and sweating) for long enough to look out the window and find Nikko chomping on an unidentified object (I think I saw bones…) in the yard. Apparently, he was still not satisfied after 2 bricks of mouse poison!

We move this weekend. Clearly, this is going to be an adventure.

Since I have been absent from the blog for more days than I’d like to try to count, I feel like I should explain (in iPhone pictures, of course) the things I’ve learned during my little “vacation”. It’s important. Take notes.

1) It is my duty to take a picture when a dog runs away on my husband’s watch.

2) It is also my duty to take a second picture, just in case the first one does not turn out.

3) Being a baby is extremely hard work, apparently.

4) If a boat tour is offered, always take it.

5) If a castle tour is offered, take it.

6) When touring a castle that is located on an island, make sure you know when the last boat leaves.

7) The journey is always worth the destination.

8 ) Don’t be afraid to eat pizza at a restaurant with a wildlife scene featured on the placemat.

9) There are very few things in life that are more beautiful than the bond one has with their siblings children.

10) Always try on swim suits [and take pictures] before buying them.

11) I repeat. Always try on swim suits [and take pictures] before buying them.

[shudder]

12) When you think you’ve found “it”, be sure to get a second opinion. Then get a third. Only then is it OK to buy it.

13) Stop to smell [and photograph] the peonies.

14) Stop for a moment and just enjoy the view.

So that’s it for me!

What have YOU learned this summer?!

As a general rule, I am a positive person. Don’t get me wrong–I have my fair share of pity parties, but no matter how tough my life situation, I usually have my initial cry/scream/pity party, but then I just put on my big girl panties and move on.

Usually.

Since October, however, I have been having a difficult time even finding my big girl panties. It’s like that pair of panties that fall behind the crevice of your wall and dresser. You don’t find them until you decide to move the furniture and clean the dust bunnies from behind the furniture (which basically never happens at my house)…then you’re like,

“A ha! My big girl panties! I was wondering where they were!”

My big girl panties were misplaced months ago. So, I’ve been (figuratively of course) walking around for the past 6-8 months without wearing any panties. And I have on a skirt. A skirt with no panties. I’m sure you’re familiar with the uncomfortable ‘I’m not wearing any panties with a skirt’ feeling.

It’s a little breezy (but not in a good way).

You’re constantly on guard, waiting for your skirt to fly up (but not in a good way).

If you’re even a fraction as clumsy as I am, you’re living daily with the fear that at any given moment, you could end up on the floor/pavement/grass in a very compromising (panty-less) situation.

There is nothing good about losing your big girl panties. It’s intimidating, daunting, and personally, it makes me feel like I’ve fallen down and landed with my skirt over my head.

The past 8 months for me have been filled with a slew of losses on many levels, uncertainty, and confusion. I’ve faced rejection, grief, physical pain, and a lot of self-doubt. Mostly, this has all been a result of the trials and tribulations surrounding Operation: Baby. I’ve been hesitant to really dig into it on the blog for a couple of reasons, but mostly because I don’t know how much everyone cares to hear about my fertility.

What I’ve decided is that although you probably don’t care about my fertility, it’s really playing a huge role in my overall health and fitness (both mentally and physically). That is exactly what my whole blog is about, so why would I ignore it?  In a way, it’s just another obstacle–sort of like my IT band syndrome or bursitis. This obstacle just happens to originate in the parts that we don’t usually speak of.

When I had my original pregnancy loss last October, it created an immediate sense of fear for me. I instantly felt like I had caused the loss–it was the TRX workout that I did on Saturday…or the Spin class I attended the evening before I started having complications…or that weird stretch I did because my hamstrings were tight. I immediately blamed myself for something that remains to be completely unexplained, and something which no medical study has ever tied back to exercise, spinning, stretching, flexing, or jumping. It wasn’t my fault.

But I didn’t believe it.

So I stopped working out. Instead, I watched TV and ate.

It’s amazing how old coping mechanisms come on scene just when you need them the most! But really–I rationalized that working out had caused me the hurt, pain, and uncertainty of losing a pregnancy (and two more since then), so why would I continue doing it? Getting and staying pregnant is supposed to be easy, it was going to be easy for me, and the only factor that could have caused the problem was exercise. Of course!

(facepalm).

Of course not!

It’s taken me 8 months, but I’ve worked it out in my head. Fertility problems are so common these days, and they’re not caused by exercise. I personally have many friends who have worked out throughout their pregnancies, and gone on to have very healthy, happy babies. Hell…I ran a 10K with my friend when she was 6 months pregnant. This is not the cause of my fertility problems. In order to reinforce this in my fearful brain, I bought the book Exercising Through Your Pregnancy by James F. Clapp III. M.D., on a recommendation from my friend.

I am feeling so much more relieved after having read this book. Dr. Clapp (I’m sorry…but his name is just funny) conducted firsthand research on 250 women who exercised regularly before, during, and after pregnancy, as well as a group of 50 women who began a structured exercise program during pregnancy. As a result, he disproved all of the old myths about exercise reducing a woman’s chances of becoming pregnant, that exercise causes early miscarriage or premature labor, and that weight-bearing exercises are not good for pregnant women. It’s all a crock.

He found no proof that exercise causes miscarriage, ectopic pregnancies, congenital defects, or other placental problems.

So.

I read the book.

I started my Boilermaker Training Plan.

I had another miscarriage.

I cried.

I pulled my big girl panties out from behind my dresser.

I put them on.

I called my doctor.

I asked for help.

I made an appointment to come up with a game plan.

I took back control.

I won’t allow fear to control my health.

———-

Did you exercise throughout your pregnancy?

Have you recently had to search for your big girl panties too?

In case you haven’t been following along with the full story of my historically nomadic lifestyle, let me just sum it up for you: much moving, many boxes, much dismay. Oh, and there’s also that $2,500 that I’ve spent on a storage unit over the past 2.5 years.

Good times.

We’ve lived in my cozy 2 bedroom condo for almost a year. We’re moving again. Hopefully soon.

We’re fully embroiled in the long process of purchasing a short sale home. Miraculously, it didn’t take us long to find this house, despite our long list of “must haves”:

• Ideally 4 bedrooms, but at least 3 bedrooms with the option of adding a sofa bed in a semi-private area for guests.
• Enough space to set up a fully-equipped home gym [we're cancelling our gym membership] without encroaching on our other living area.
• At least 2 bathrooms, ideally 2.5 or 3.
• Large enough kitchen/dining room to entertain My Gazelle’s large family [and mine when they come to visit].
• A yard for the pups.
• Outdoor space to entertain when it’s warm outside [I am pining for the grill that I lost many years ago].
• A garden, or space in the yard for a garden.
• Off-street parking.
• Kid-friendly neighborhood.

Locating “our” house didn’t take long at all. In fact, we found it within 2 weeks of looking.

And it needs a lot of work.

And I love it.

However, I still don’t understand why they don’t call it a “long” sale rather than a “short” sale. Trust me, there’s been absolutely nothing short about this sale. We began by putting an offer on the house on January 27th, and it’s now May 26th. I’ll do the math for you: many months.

During April, we went through every inspection imaginable, ordered an appraisal, and even had some minor repairs done so that the house would pass FHA inspection (so that we could settle). We even had a settlement date scheduled for April 18th. Then we had a settlement date scheduled for April 21st. Then, my real estate agent called me on April 19th and said that settlement was cancelled because the sellers had a second mortgage that they never told anyone about.

At that point, we basically started the clock all over again. And then I cried. Besides all of the obvious reasons why I want to move into this house (more space, having a big enough house before we get pregnant, giving the pups space to play outside), we also have a very busy fall coming up. If we can’t close the deal soon (literally), we will have to get out of this contract, and wait until next year to buy a house.

We were so disappointed by the news that our settlement was going to be delayed that we even decided to look at other houses. After about 10 more house tours, we quickly realized that our list of “must haves” above is hard to come by in our [relatively miniscule] price range. The average list price of a home in the county we are buying is nearly $300K. Our budget is like 1/2 of that.

At this point, I am impatiently patiently waiting for the magical call from my real estate agent telling me that we have a new settlement date. Some day [soon], I’m confident that I’ll be digging away in our new garden.

Throwing parties on our [soon to be] fabulous deck.

In the meantime, I’m just going to try to be patient.

Not my forte.

I definitely had a fun time last year when I went to Fitbloggin’, but I have to admit that my experience this year was even better. I think that I owe it in part to these two ladies:

My Fitbloggin’ buds (Jen and Beth).

Incidentally, every time anyone said the name “Beth”, both of us would answer, since my family and friends call me ‘Beth’ too!

I’ve been trying to use the past few weeks to kick myself back into gear with a workout plan. Although I’m don’t plan to dwell incessantly on my progress in the ‘babymakin’ realm, I will tell you that I was recently pregnant again, and (sadly), it did not end well. As a result, I spent the last week of April and about two weeks thereafter feeling out of sorts, immobile, and very fluffy.

Last week was only my second week of being back on a workout schedule, so I made sure to work out as much as possible while I was at Fitbloggin’. Jen and I hit the gym twice while we were there (Thursday and Friday), but after that, our days were pretty jam packed with activities, so I couldn’t fit in a workout.

Today, I plan to do something that will make me sweat for at least 30 minutes [obviously, I still haven't come up with a plan].

It’ll probably look something like this–my favorite Cardio Blast Workout. I love doing interval workouts, and this is my favorite way to combine cardio with a little bit of weight/body weight training.

CARDIO BLAST WORKOUT

1) Biceps Curls (barbell or dumbbell)

2) Triceps cable push downs or Triceps Dumbbell Kickback

3) Pushups

4) Lying Leg-Hip Raise

5) 90 seconds treadmill incline blast (turn the treadmill up to 10% or more incline, and blast out a 90 second power walk/jog/run)

x 3-5 sets

I do all of these exercises in a series, take 1-2 minutes of rest, then repeat!

Then, I take a nap.

What is your favorite workout??

Sometimes, after life has served you a Super Sized share of beat-down, the only thing that you really need is to reconnect, revive, and reboot.

Eat sushi.

With friends. [thanks for a great weekend, girls!]

Until it’s so dark that you can’t see the water anymore.

Spend four days with 300 health and fitness bloggers.

[p.s...see my head? It's big, huh?!]

Eat Popchips.

And think about all things life and blog-related.

Because, up until two weeks ago, I didn’t know if I was even going to attend Fitbloggin’. Although I had been planning to attend the conference ever since the day that last years’ conference ended, too many things had transpired in the previous month, and I was on overload.

To be honest, up until 4 days ago, I didn’t even know if I wanted to continue this little virtual journal at Jogger’s Life. Little did any of you know, but for the past 4 days, I was allowing the Fitbloggin’ conference to be my barometer. I knew that I would either fall back in love with my blog, or I would decide that I was just not in the right life place anymore to be a blogger.

I’ve decided to continue blogging, and I’ve decided to continue blogging with a sense of balance. I can’t write 3 blogs, sling cupcakes, stay fit, and work a 40 hour per week big girl job while still maintaining my sanity. I also can’t do all of this while simultaneously expecting to be stress-free enough to start a family.

And find a new house (yep, that still isn’t over yet).

And be a functional member of The Happy Wives Club.

I really love my blog. I love writing, and I love all of you. I just needed to take a step back and remember why I started this blog in the first place. I strongly believe that people have the freedom to take their blogs in whatever direction feels good to them. When you write a blog about your life, it will naturally follow the twists and turns that your life takes. What I’ve progressively lost sight of, however, is that this blog was always meant to be a little piece of me, my life, and the things that are important to me.

So, I intend to keep that in sight from now on.

The reason I started this blog is because I had just committed to doing something that scared the bejesus out of me. One of the first scary things that I had ever done in my life.

I have to always remember the things that make me smile about this blog: I can motivate people to do things that they were too scared to try in the past. I can set goals, put them out into the virtual universe, then work to achieve them. That’s why I started writing this blog. In 2008, I knew that I wanted to change my life, and a side effect was that I changed a few others in the process. I love that.

As for everything else (Sugared Bakery and my other blog babies), they’ll have to wait until I have some free time. Sometimes, it’s OK to prioritize. Sometimes, it’s OK to say ‘no’.

In the meantime, Jogger’s Life still has a lot more living to do.

Thank you, Fitbloggin’.