A few weeks ago, it occurred to me that I had again signed up for The Boilermaker 15K. I’m not sure why this surprised me, considering that this particular race was the impetus for starting this whole blog in the first place back in 2008. When I signed up for my first Boilermaker, I decided that it would be the one race that I would do each and every year–whether I had to run, walk, or crawl it. It’s definitely my favorite race of all time (I can say that now, because I haven’t yet ran in Scotland)!

Considering all of my recent physical and mental drama, I hadn’t really been running much since the Myrtle Beach 1/2 marathon in February.

Maybe I hadn’t been running at all since February.

My Sista even laughed at me and my lackadaisical attitude about the whole scene. Then she questioned if we came from the same parents. I think we did.

So, I needed a plan.

I decided to follow the same plan as I did the first time I ran The Boilermaker in 2009. It’s a plan that My Sista gave me (because she’s the runner in the family), and it’s a modified version of the Hal Higdon 15K plan. The plan was modified so that we could continue on with training for The Baltimore Marathon after The Boilermaker.

I’d be lying if I said that looking back on the training plan isn’t making me a little nostalgic about running The Baltimore Marathon [in which the term "running" is used very loosely, of course]. As much as I dreaded about 94% of my training, I still look back at the whole experience very fondly. It even makes me laugh now when I think about all of the hours that I spent agonizing in the blazing sun, wogging down the side of the highway, on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Remember this image of how my training actually went down in 2009?

[p.s...In hindsight, I love that the name of this image contains the name "wonkersized".]

Good times.

So, this time around the goal has been to avoid injury. Seems like a simple, attainable goal, right? Let’s hope so.

I started training on May 30. According to My Sista, I was a little late, but I figured that since I knew I was planning to walk or run/walk the race, I’d have no problem jumping in and starting out with my first “long” at 3 miles. I knew that the most common problem that would come up with this training plan would be laziness. Lack of desire to sweat. ME. I am the problem!

But I’m also the solution.

I can’t escape my training plan.

I have a copy of it on the desktop of my computer at work, and a printed copy taped to a wall that I pass 43 times each day at home. There is no escaping “The Plan”. I’ve come to enjoy crossing the days off as I complete my workouts–it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. I’ve sort of always had a very lackadaisical attitude when it came to following a set training plan. I was afraid that it would cause me to become obsessed. It turns out that it doesn’t. It just makes me follow the plan (which will hopefully help me avoid injury)!

So far, I’m a little more than 1/2 way through week 3, and I’ve missed one run and one cross train. Not bad, I’ll take it. In missing those 2 workouts, I have come to realize that I’m great at rationalizing the reasons why I should skip. For the first cross training session I missed, I was visiting my family in NY, and I brought my resistance bands with me so that I could do a quick session on Saturday. Then I told myself that it would be “ok” if I missed it. So I did. Fail.

I actually missed the run last Friday because I took both Monday AND Tuesday as rest days. I did that because I just didn’t “FEEL” like running on Tuesday. By the time that Friday arrived, I also didn’t “FEEL” like running either. Lame.

Lesson learned. This week, I didn’t skip any runs, and I’m feeling good (although I do have a strange bursitis-y twinge in my left knee that I’m doctoring). Last night, I also didn’t “FEEL” like running, but I did it anyway. It helps that I can drag my treadmill out and park it directly in front of the TV while I watch Real Housewives of OC. Reality TV makes me run.

How do you make sure that you get your workouts in?

What are the excuses you typically use when you skip a workout?

Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.  ~St. Augustine

I want you guys to know something.

I have bad habits.

Several bad habits.

Sometimes, I throw my dirty clothes on the floor and don’t pick them up for days.  DAYS, I tell ya!

I pick my teeth in public from time to time.  I know it’s gross, but it’s a habit.  It happens.

I have this annoying way of nodding my head and saying “uh huh” as people are talking.  Although I know that this is a horrible characteristic and implies that I’m not actually listening (even though I am), I still do it.  It’s a habit.

These are just a few of the little quirky things that make me “me”.  They’re manageable.  They’re things that won’t drasticaly change my life one way or another.

The ones that I worry about are the new habits.  The habits that I’ve developed over the past 6 months.  The habits that tell me at lunch time that I should skip my planned workout because I can work out “tonight”.  Then, when “tonight” comes, those damn habits assure me that it’s OK–I can just work out “tomorrow”.  Then, those same habits cause me to become fused to my sofa after 6:30PM Monday through Friday.  These are also the same habits that make me get up from said sofa to snack on multiple things between the hours of 7:30-10:30PM.

Sometimes, the word “binge” even echoes in my mind.

I’m not sure whether it’s me who is speaking that word, if it’s the new habits talking, or if it’s the ghost of eating disorder past.  No matter the source, when that “binge” word comes up, I react.

I feel out of control.

Out of touch.

Out of practice.

Out of belt loops.

I recognize that there are times when I reach this point in my life.  Times when I’ve gone from working out and eating sensibly for a long period of time, and then I hit some sort of life challenge, and things fall off for me.  I become physically lazy.  I just want to be at home.  I want to sit and think [or not think at all, and instead just watch Housewives of Beverly Hills].

The past year has been a challenge for me.  I went from constantly race training in 2009–from my first 1/2 marathon to my first 10K, then my first 15K, and finishing up with my first marathon–to feeling like a big slacker in 2010.  I realize that I did a 1/2 marathon and my first two triathlons during 2010, but admittedly, I could have done much more.   Admittedly, I put in about 40% of the effort that I could have.

I’m not telling you this out of guilt or remorse.  I’m telling you because it is what it is.  I know I can do better, and I’ve learned many lessons over the past two years in terms of my athletic goals and abilities.

I know that I want to run.  I also know that I want to feel fit.

I have learned that in order to take ourselves from a place of “bad habit” to a life of “good habits”, we need to feel motivated.  I have also learned that one of my largest forms of motivation is feeling as though I am making a difference and helping others get motivated.

While I was training for my races, nothing made me happier than receiving an email or comment from someone telling me that I inspired them to try something that they’ve never done before.  As cliche as it all sounds, for me, that makes all of my hard work worth it in the end.

Last night, we had our inaugural meeting of the Team Rep Your City (TRYC–pronounced “Trike”) Running Club.  I was intimidated by the prospect of joining (and being part of the launch of) a running club, because I’m not a very good runner.

I’m slow, I become injured, I snot all over myself…these are not the marks of a  true runner.

However, when I started learning about the people who were interested in joining the running club, I was overjoyed to find out that they were mostly all beginners.  I was immediately excited with the prospect of being able to make a difference and help others find their love for running.

Although I don’t always like running, I definitely love running, and like most people who are not particularly athletic, when I first started running, I never thought that I could even run a mile.  I like being living proof that anyone can be a runner, no matter how good they initially think they’ll be at it.

The greatest thing about TRYC is that it has motivated me to change my bad habits back into good ones.  I will get off of the sofa, and I will remember why I love being outside running, sweating, becoming myself again.  Starting today.

Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.  ~Yiddish Proverb

What motivates you?

Sometimes, the only way that I’m able to get myself out of a rut, be it fitness, life, personal or career-related, is to make an impulsive decision and jump in with both feet.

Heck.

This is how I make about 90% of my decisions, to be honest.  I tend to be a very “go with your gut” kind of gal, so when things need a little shaking up, I make a crazy decision.

Heck.

The whole reason why this blog is in existence is because of a rash decision.  I signed up for a race that I had no business doing.  But, relative to any other physical accomplishments that I had ever made, I basically won that first 15K in my own mind, just by signing up.

Before I even finished that first race, I signed up for an even longer race that I REALLY had no business doing.

Then, I signed up for a race that I never (in my worst nightmares) believed that I would sign up for (much less complete).

After the injurious nightmare that was training for THAT race, I took a step back and reevaluated.  I don’t like being injured.  I like to walk without pain.  I really enjoy spending my Saturday mornings sipping coffee and baking muffins rather than sobbing on the side of the road, approximately 10 miles from home.

I owned it.

Distance running is not for everyone.

Distance running is not for me.

After that shocking revelation, I still didn’t learn.

Impulse struck again, and I signed up for the Disney Princess 1/2 in March 2010.  Again, I suffered through this race with IT Band issues.

Some people never learn.

I never learn.

Until recently.

Rather than focusing on how many miles I could run in 2010, or how fast I could run those miles in, I decided to focus on having fun. For some people, running long distances is fun. For me, not so much.  As a result, I signed up for my first triathlon.  Then I signed up for my second.

Despite the fact that I fought seaweed and zebra mussels, and had my life flash before me on several occasions during each of the races, I loved them.  Really, really loved them.

I learned a lesson.

Stick with the activities that make you feel good.  Do the things that make you smile, regardless of what ‘everyone else’ is doing.

As a result, I’ve taken a much kinder, gentler approach to my future athletic plans.  Because of everything going awry in my life since my August 7th IronGirl Triathlon, I’ve only been able to work out a handful of times since then.  Only recently have I been given the green light from my doctor to resume my normal activity.

Normal activity.

I don’t even know what my “normal activity” is at this point.  I ran 2.25 miles last Saturday, and that’s all I’ve really felt inclined to do (besides some mall walking during the week).  I’m OK with that, but something interesting has happened.

I want to run.

I actually want to run.

But just a little.

Although not nearly as drastic as a marathon, 1/2 marathon, triathlon, or even a 15K, I made an impulsive decision today. I needed to shake things up–remember why I love sweating so much. I signed up for the 2010 Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis this morning.

It’s a 5K.

I haven’t run 5K since August 7th.  I snotted, cried, sweated, limped, and chafed my way through a Marathon just a year ago, but now I need to actually train to run a 5K.  That kind of makes me smile.

I’m really starting from square 1 again, and that’s OK with me.  It’ll be fun.

________

I signed up for this race (again…you can read the pathetic story of my first experience here) as part of Team Rep Your City, which is a brand new running club organized by my running coach/bff (whose praises I’ve sung for the past 5 years, both on blog and off).  I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about TRYC in the near future, as we’re all working together to get the club up and running (ha…pun…).

If you’re local and you’d like to run with Team Rep Your City (or donate to the Arthritis foundation for our team), click through to our donation page, and choose either “General Team Donation”, or “Join Our Team”.

Merci.

Je t’aime.

Have I ever told you how hard running is for me?

Well, in case I haven’t, I just wanted you to know…

Running is hard for me.

Not the mental “get out there and run” part; that is the easiest component for me.

The physical aspect of running is so challenging for me that sometimes I wonder if my body was even built to move any faster than 4 miles per hour.  I am just not built for this sport.

I’m fairly short and thick.  My calves are the diameter of a 3 year old’s waist.

I’ve had asthma since I was in elementary school, and I refuse to use steroidal inhalers because they geek me out.

And I’m dense.  Very, very dense.

Fast twitch muscles?  Pffffttt…WHAT fast twitch muscles?

While I was slogging along with my friend, James on Sunday’s long run (10 miles), I said the following (strictly paraphrased, because who can really remember what they said 2 days ago while suffering from heat stroke and asthmatic delirium?):

“James, I’m sorry I’m so useless today.  I’ve decided that I’m just really not built for running.”

“You know…I’m built more for dead-lifting, or wrestling.  Yeah…I’d be an awesome wrestler.”

He replied that he was built for ceramic-making or competitive pizza eating.  Or something like that.  But, it was a long run, and I’m probably mixing up the details and timeline of our conversation.

The point is that on Sunday, I came to a strong realization between asthma attacks.

I am never going to be any better than I am today.

Oh, sure.  I might get a little faster on my short runs, or I might get better at certain aspects of my runs (hills, tempo, endurance).  But I am never going to really be any faster, and I don’t think that running is ever going to get any easier.

On one hand, this upsets me.  Everyone wants to get better at something that they spend so much time and energy doing.  I don’t really like sucking at running.

On the other hand, I can’t honestly say that I’d even continue running if it were easy.  I never take the easy way out.

“Easy” bores me.

I failed math the entire way through school, and now I’m an accountant.  Somehow I took the one thing that I sucked the worst at, and made a career out of it.  And, I don’t suck at it.

I don’t know why I do that.  I think I must like the torture.

Or the challenge.

* Have you joined my Facebook Group yet?

* See how my training is going over here!

* Wonder what I’m eating?

* Everyone loves a giveaway!