As a general rule, I am a positive person. Don’t get me wrong–I have my fair share of pity parties, but no matter how tough my life situation, I usually have my initial cry/scream/pity party, but then I just put on my big girl panties and move on.

Usually.

Since October, however, I have been having a difficult time even finding my big girl panties. It’s like that pair of panties that fall behind the crevice of your wall and dresser. You don’t find them until you decide to move the furniture and clean the dust bunnies from behind the furniture (which basically never happens at my house)…then you’re like,

“A ha! My big girl panties! I was wondering where they were!”

My big girl panties were misplaced months ago. So, I’ve been (figuratively of course) walking around for the past 6-8 months without wearing any panties. And I have on a skirt. A skirt with no panties. I’m sure you’re familiar with the uncomfortable ‘I’m not wearing any panties with a skirt’ feeling.

It’s a little breezy (but not in a good way).

You’re constantly on guard, waiting for your skirt to fly up (but not in a good way).

If you’re even a fraction as clumsy as I am, you’re living daily with the fear that at any given moment, you could end up on the floor/pavement/grass in a very compromising (panty-less) situation.

There is nothing good about losing your big girl panties. It’s intimidating, daunting, and personally, it makes me feel like I’ve fallen down and landed with my skirt over my head.

The past 8 months for me have been filled with a slew of losses on many levels, uncertainty, and confusion. I’ve faced rejection, grief, physical pain, and a lot of self-doubt. Mostly, this has all been a result of the trials and tribulations surrounding Operation: Baby. I’ve been hesitant to really dig into it on the blog for a couple of reasons, but mostly because I don’t know how much everyone cares to hear about my fertility.

What I’ve decided is that although you probably don’t care about my fertility, it’s really playing a huge role in my overall health and fitness (both mentally and physically). That is exactly what my whole blog is about, so why would I ignore it?  In a way, it’s just another obstacle–sort of like my IT band syndrome or bursitis. This obstacle just happens to originate in the parts that we don’t usually speak of.

When I had my original pregnancy loss last October, it created an immediate sense of fear for me. I instantly felt like I had caused the loss–it was the TRX workout that I did on Saturday…or the Spin class I attended the evening before I started having complications…or that weird stretch I did because my hamstrings were tight. I immediately blamed myself for something that remains to be completely unexplained, and something which no medical study has ever tied back to exercise, spinning, stretching, flexing, or jumping. It wasn’t my fault.

But I didn’t believe it.

So I stopped working out. Instead, I watched TV and ate.

It’s amazing how old coping mechanisms come on scene just when you need them the most! But really–I rationalized that working out had caused me the hurt, pain, and uncertainty of losing a pregnancy (and two more since then), so why would I continue doing it? Getting and staying pregnant is supposed to be easy, it was going to be easy for me, and the only factor that could have caused the problem was exercise. Of course!

(facepalm).

Of course not!

It’s taken me 8 months, but I’ve worked it out in my head. Fertility problems are so common these days, and they’re not caused by exercise. I personally have many friends who have worked out throughout their pregnancies, and gone on to have very healthy, happy babies. Hell…I ran a 10K with my friend when she was 6 months pregnant. This is not the cause of my fertility problems. In order to reinforce this in my fearful brain, I bought the book Exercising Through Your Pregnancy by James F. Clapp III. M.D., on a recommendation from my friend.

I am feeling so much more relieved after having read this book. Dr. Clapp (I’m sorry…but his name is just funny) conducted firsthand research on 250 women who exercised regularly before, during, and after pregnancy, as well as a group of 50 women who began a structured exercise program during pregnancy. As a result, he disproved all of the old myths about exercise reducing a woman’s chances of becoming pregnant, that exercise causes early miscarriage or premature labor, and that weight-bearing exercises are not good for pregnant women. It’s all a crock.

He found no proof that exercise causes miscarriage, ectopic pregnancies, congenital defects, or other placental problems.

So.

I read the book.

I started my Boilermaker Training Plan.

I had another miscarriage.

I cried.

I pulled my big girl panties out from behind my dresser.

I put them on.

I called my doctor.

I asked for help.

I made an appointment to come up with a game plan.

I took back control.

I won’t allow fear to control my health.

———-

Did you exercise throughout your pregnancy?

Have you recently had to search for your big girl panties too?

It literally just occurred to me today that I have a race next month. I’ve had so much going on with houses and family-starting [because using the term 'baby making' in this sense seemed really wrong] that I forgot one minor detail:

I need to TRAIN if I want to RACE.

Right.

Minor detail.

So, the official Boilermaker 15K training plan starts today. It’s about a week late, considering the fact that I have only been walking for the past few weeks, but it’ll all work out. I’ll walk or walk/run it if I have to. The important part is that I’m moving and I ultimately finish, right?!

In any case, here’s the plan:

In other news, literally the day after I wrote a full post explaining the long, short sale saga of our soon-to-be new home, something magical happened. I woke up on Friday morning as usual, [checking my email as soon as my eyeballs open], and there was a standard automated email from my real estate agent with all of the new and updated listings. I generally open the email and skim the listings, but don’t pay much attention. After all, we had a house already!

Then, I saw this house.

And I decided to do more than skim.

It turns out that this house had everything we wanted: 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, plenty of back yard for our dogs, a lovely deck, and it was in one of our favorite neighborhoods. It was in the neighborhood that My Gazelle and I had driven through on many occasions, talking about “…someday, maybe be can live here!” We never thought that day would come, though, since properties in this neighborhood were well above our modest budget.

Short sale!

Needs TLC!

I called my real estate agent when I got to the office, and by 11:30, I was at the property scoping it out. It definitely needed TLC, and the previous owners were definitely hard on the house, but I felt like I was “home” when I went inside [despite the duct-taped fireplace, textured wall paint, and filthy carpets]. We immediately put an offer on it.

We’re under contract now…just playing the waiting game again with the bank.

Patience is not my forte, as I’ve mentioned several times in the past.

Hopefully I can distract myself with my training plan for the next few weeks while we patiently wait!

So what is everyone training for right now?!

Firstly, I have no pictures of our trip to Myrtle Beach. I’m sorry. I slack sometimes.

Secondly, you probably wouldn’t really care to see pictures of this trip to Myrtle Beach anyway. This trip mainly included going to the movies [we fully took advantage of the fact that matinees were $5.50 per person], eating, and laughing.  Laughing.  Lots of laughing.  We took this trip with our couple besties [remember Robert?  I love Wifey just as much as I love him...and she's a great running buddy who doesn't mind my over-sharing nature.]

Thirdly, if I had actually taken pictures of this trip, I would have been sure to properly document all of the times I had to stop during the 1/2 marathon. I honestly lost about 15 to 20 minutes making bathroom stops between miles 2-6.

A few months ago, Jen, a PriorFatgirl wrote a post about the “problems” that we sometimes have as runners. Lots of bathroom breaks. My Sista taught me a very valuable trick about avoiding this problem last year, but unfortunately I didn’t pack properly for Myrtle Beach.

Poops.  I forgot.

Rather than become frustrated with this minor setback, I decided to use it to my advantage.  Fortunately, by the time that I reached mile 6, I was feeling fine, and the frequent breaks at the beginning of the race encouraged me to pick up my pace more from miles 6-13.

Since I always feel strongest at the beginning of the race, I had planned to run straight for the first 20-30 minutes.  I began at a very slow place so that I wouldn’t burn myself out, and this was a great decision in hind sight.  I usually start off too fast [because I'm usually running with faster runners and I try to keep up], but this time I made up my mind to let Wifey pull out ahead since she’s faster.

…bye Wifey!

I really don’t mind when people leave me in their dust.  I usually prefer to run alone anyway.

I ran my first two miles at around a 13:00-14:00 pace, and then had to stop for break # 1.  After that break, I started running 5:1 intervals, and I carried on with that plan through the rest of the race.  Once I got through my “situation”, I was able to pick up my running intervals to a pace between 10:30-11:30/mile.  This had me rather impressed, especially since I was feeling awesome running this pace.

The peak of the race for me from a physical standpoint was around the 8th mile.  I seriously couldn’t believe how great I felt.  I was enjoying the flat course, smiling, and probably eating some Cheez-It’s.

Cheez-It’s proved to be a great mid-race snack for me this go-around.  Something about eating Cheez-It’s at mile 8 made me feel like a rebel.

I planned my run intervals around water stations so that I wouldn’t end up walking just before a water station, then walking through the water station.  If my run interval was technically over just before a water station, I’d continue running until I grabbed a cup of water, then used that as my walk interval.  It proved to be effective, since I was able to walk through all of the water stops.

In addition to my rebellious Cheez-It consumption, I also slurped on 3 GU Energy Gels throughout the race (the Chocolate Outrage is my favorite).  In the past, I have used ShotBlox, but I found that I had a difficult time eating them while running, and the fact that I had to breathe through my nose to chew caused me to snot on myself uncontrollably.  This is never good on race day, since there are sneaky cameras all over the place.

[p.s...am I the only one whose nose runs uncontrollably while running--even on hot days?]

When I got to mile 12, I was feeling worn out.  Just before I got to BB&T Coastal Field, where the race ended, I had to take an unscheduled walk break, but then I managed to pull it together and run to the finish.  Because one must never walk across a finish line.

All in all, this was a really nice race for me.  The course was not very scenic (despite the fact that they market it as a race along the ocean, it’s really not), but it was flat.  I like flat.

My official race time was 2:50:41, which puts me at about a 13:00/mile pace.  This is interesting to me, considering the fact that my pace at last January’s Disney Princess 1/2 was 13:35/mile, after having died and came back to life from October 2009′s Baltimore Marathon.  This year, I’m running at around the same pace, but I’m feeling awesome with no injuries!

I’m moving right along to the Virginia Beach 1/2 marathon over St. Patrick’s Day weekend, and really looking forward to it!  I have 3 training weeks until the run, so I’ll be focusing on improving my pace between now and then to see if I can pick it up a little.  My goal for the VA Beach 1/2 is to finish between 2:30-2:40.

I don’t anticipate any problems with meeting that goal…as long as I pack properly.

A few weeks ago, in one of my crazy confessions, I admitted to you that I was becoming a chronic slacker.  There were several revelations within that post, but the most important (in my opinion) was the admission that I was putting my fitness goals on the back burner and bunking any supposed 2011 race calendar, in the hopes that I “might be pregnant” in the spring.

My favorite time to race is in the spring.

And by “race”, I mean “keep up with the moms pushing double strollers”.

I was pretty much declining all of my friends’ invitations to complete races with them because I had developed this irrational fear (after my failed pregnancy) that failed pregnancies are a side effect of working out.  Let me explain…

[if you possess more testosterone than estrogen, this part will bore you.  Just scroll down to the pictures and continue.]

During the short amount of time that I was pregnant, I was working out.  Of course I was trying to keep things under the threshold of where I would normally push myself, but I was holding up my normal workout schedule.  I found out I was pregnant on Friday, September 3.  On Saturday, My Gazelle and I did our normal TRX bootcamp workout.  I ran on Monday, did weight training on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday I went to my regularly-scheduled spin class.

I honestly wanted life to be “business as usual”, zygote or no zygote.

I was feeling a little goofy on Wednesday.  I can’t really explain what “goofy” means, but I just felt tired and kind of out of breath all day.  I attributed it to my early pregnancy, and I just kept it movin.  Before spin class, I was stretching out.  I felt something weird like a butterfly in my stomach.  I described it to My Gazelle as a little “Bloooop!” in my belly.

I proceeded to do my normal spin class, at a much lower intensity than I would normally do.

The following day, I started having symptoms of miscarriage (which turned out to actually be an ectopic pregnancy).

In my brain, I blamed the whole terrible situation on my “business as usual” workout schedule.  Rationally, I know that it’s insane and that plenty of women work out through their entire pregnancy.  I did a 15K race in 2008, and a woman who was 7 months pregnant beat me by like 15 minutes.  I ran that very same race with my bestie who was 6 months pregnant with her son at the time.

Exercising while pregnant is healthy.  Research indicates that it makes for healthier Moms and babies, and it makes the process of delivery easier a lot of the time.

Coupled with my fear of getting injured (after everything I dealt with in 2009), I ended up being literally afraid to run or work out.

I had to get over this irrational fear.  I had to start running again.  I love running.  I had to start living my life the way that I did before.  I had to start signing up for races.

As I also mentioned previously, I don’t want to be injured in 2011 as I was during most of 2009 while I was training for 1/2 marathons and my (only) marathon.  Extreme distances tend to not agree with my body.  They cause me ITB Friction Syndrome, Bursitis, nervous breakdowns, crying episodes (you can read a full recap here). Long distances work for some people, but not so much for me.

When my rational brain kicked in and decided that my legs needed to get busy, that same rational brain decided to adopt a much more kinder, gentler approach to training in 2011.  If I’m focusing again on running, as I did during 2009 (2010 was the year of the triathlon!), I needed a better way to get it done.

I bought Jeff Galloway’s book.

About Jeff:

“Jeff’s quest for the injury-free marathon training program led him to develop group training programs in 1978, and to author Runner’s World articles which have been used by hundreds of thousands of runners of all abilities. His training schedules have inspired the second wave of marathoners who follow the Galloway RUN-WALK-RUN™, low mileage, three-day, suggestions to an over 98% success rate.”

[you can read more about him on his website if you're interested]

The basic premise behind the training is that by doing a low mileage training program (2 short runs, 1 longer run) per week, coupled with a RUN-WALK-RUN schedule during the runs, you minimize the damaging effects that long distance running does on your body.

I’m all over it, people.

I love the idea that I can still do longer races, but not get jacked up because of it.

With the Galloway method, you figure out your race pace and then train according to the guidelines in the plan.  Personally, I’m planning on having fairly slow race times this year, and my training pace right now is around 12:00 miles.  Truthfully, that’s not a lot slower than the standard 11:00-11:30 miles I was running before.  I’ll trade off that slight loss on pace so that I don’t get injured.

I’m doing 3:1 intervals.  RUN 3 MINUTES: WALK 1 MINUTE: RUN 3 MINUTES…REPEAT until the time or distance goal is accomplished.  My pace is slower (and I have to continue reminding myself that the goal for 2011 is to just finish these races), but as a result, my body feels surprisingly great after I’m finished running.

I love it.

Something else that I also love is the Gymboss.

The wonderful Jake from Gymboss contacted me shortly after I announced that I was going to be doing the Galloway method, and asked me if I would like to have a Gymboss interval timer to help with my training.

I LOVE THE GYMBOSS.

I’ve used it now for about 3 weeks, and I can’t tell you how great it is specifically for the purpose of running intervals.  Since I’m running outside sometimes (with proper reflection of course), I am not able to see my Garmin because it’s too dark outside.  Before I had the Gymboss, I would have to wait until I was directly under a street light to check my Garmin time, and 90% of the time, I had missed my interval cue.

The Gymboss has several different settings, and can be set to vibrate or audibly chime when your interval cue has arrived.  The vibration is great for when I’m at the gym and don’t want to disrupt everyone (or for when I’m using my iPod during the run), and I use the chime when I’m outside.  The Gymboss is small, lightweight, and clips snugly onto your shirt or waistband.  I actually clip mine right on my iPod armband in order to centralize most of my gadgets.

This little green doo dad has made my life a ton easier, and I’m looking forward to spending many (many) training miles with it!

Many uninjured miles.

As I previously mentioned, Jake is wonderful.  He has offered to give one of my readers their very own Gymboss.  He might even let you pick the color, but you’d probably have to ask nicely.

The Rules:

Go to the Gymboss website, and leave a comment telling me what color Gymboss you’d pick.

One entry per person.

Contest closes at 12PM on Wednesday, December 22nd.

Good luck!

Disclosure: Actions you take from the links within this blog post may yield commissions for joggerslife.com. See Jogger’s Life’s disclosure statement for more details.

Sometimes, the only way that I’m able to get myself out of a rut, be it fitness, life, personal or career-related, is to make an impulsive decision and jump in with both feet.

Heck.

This is how I make about 90% of my decisions, to be honest.  I tend to be a very “go with your gut” kind of gal, so when things need a little shaking up, I make a crazy decision.

Heck.

The whole reason why this blog is in existence is because of a rash decision.  I signed up for a race that I had no business doing.  But, relative to any other physical accomplishments that I had ever made, I basically won that first 15K in my own mind, just by signing up.

Before I even finished that first race, I signed up for an even longer race that I REALLY had no business doing.

Then, I signed up for a race that I never (in my worst nightmares) believed that I would sign up for (much less complete).

After the injurious nightmare that was training for THAT race, I took a step back and reevaluated.  I don’t like being injured.  I like to walk without pain.  I really enjoy spending my Saturday mornings sipping coffee and baking muffins rather than sobbing on the side of the road, approximately 10 miles from home.

I owned it.

Distance running is not for everyone.

Distance running is not for me.

After that shocking revelation, I still didn’t learn.

Impulse struck again, and I signed up for the Disney Princess 1/2 in March 2010.  Again, I suffered through this race with IT Band issues.

Some people never learn.

I never learn.

Until recently.

Rather than focusing on how many miles I could run in 2010, or how fast I could run those miles in, I decided to focus on having fun. For some people, running long distances is fun. For me, not so much.  As a result, I signed up for my first triathlon.  Then I signed up for my second.

Despite the fact that I fought seaweed and zebra mussels, and had my life flash before me on several occasions during each of the races, I loved them.  Really, really loved them.

I learned a lesson.

Stick with the activities that make you feel good.  Do the things that make you smile, regardless of what ‘everyone else’ is doing.

As a result, I’ve taken a much kinder, gentler approach to my future athletic plans.  Because of everything going awry in my life since my August 7th IronGirl Triathlon, I’ve only been able to work out a handful of times since then.  Only recently have I been given the green light from my doctor to resume my normal activity.

Normal activity.

I don’t even know what my “normal activity” is at this point.  I ran 2.25 miles last Saturday, and that’s all I’ve really felt inclined to do (besides some mall walking during the week).  I’m OK with that, but something interesting has happened.

I want to run.

I actually want to run.

But just a little.

Although not nearly as drastic as a marathon, 1/2 marathon, triathlon, or even a 15K, I made an impulsive decision today. I needed to shake things up–remember why I love sweating so much. I signed up for the 2010 Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis this morning.

It’s a 5K.

I haven’t run 5K since August 7th.  I snotted, cried, sweated, limped, and chafed my way through a Marathon just a year ago, but now I need to actually train to run a 5K.  That kind of makes me smile.

I’m really starting from square 1 again, and that’s OK with me.  It’ll be fun.

________

I signed up for this race (again…you can read the pathetic story of my first experience here) as part of Team Rep Your City, which is a brand new running club organized by my running coach/bff (whose praises I’ve sung for the past 5 years, both on blog and off).  I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about TRYC in the near future, as we’re all working together to get the club up and running (ha…pun…).

If you’re local and you’d like to run with Team Rep Your City (or donate to the Arthritis foundation for our team), click through to our donation page, and choose either “General Team Donation”, or “Join Our Team”.

Merci.

Je t’aime.

First of all, you guys are awesome.  I received a completely unexpected reaction to my EXPOSED post, and many of your comments literally brought tears to my eyes and made me all sappy.  I feel so lucky to have such a nice little bunch of blog readers, and if you guys were the only people who read my blog for the entire rest of my life, that would be just fine with me.  You are all so awesome!!!

Also.

Did you guys get the memo that I’m running the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon on March 7th?

In like…6…er…5 days?

Five DAYS.  Not weeks.  DAYS.

In the midst of my ‘I’m going to Disney World’ brain fog, it sort of slipped my mind that I’m going to be running a 1/2 marathon while I’m at Disney World.  Sort of a way to earn my vacation, if you will.

It’s not that I haven’t been running, because I have.  The problem is that I haven’t really mentally prepared myself for the fact that I’m running a race, because I’ve been completely preoccupied with meeting Mickey again.

I don’t know if this will prove to be a good thing or a bad thing.  I guess time will tell.

In the training realm, I was feeling fairly confident in my running as of late until yesterday.  I was scheduled to do my final long run of 11 miles.  The first problem was that I had to do it on the treadmill, since there is still snow everywhere, and I’m afraid of getting hit by a car.

My head was not in the game.  At 1.5 miles, I wanted to bail, and that normally doesn’t happen until at least 2 miles.

I’m kidding…kind of.

So, from the beginning, I just didn’t want to be there.  I wanted to be at home, baking almond paste cookies and roasting root vegetables in a 425 degree oven, while wearing my Boojiboo apron and feeding my dogs cheese.

Seriously, these are the things I was dreaming of while I was on the treadmill.  I never claimed to be normal, but I’m definitely simple.  And by “simple”, I mean that it doesn’t take much to make me happy.  Not that I’m “simple”.

Dreaming of roasting vegetables aside, I tried to make it work.  I became fixated on the fact that at the 45 minute mark, I could slurp my vanilla bean GU (again, I look forward to the simple things).

I was only running so that I could slurp a GU.  That’s pretty pathetic, no?  However, I didn’t make it to that 45 minute mark because of this familiar “twinge” that I felt in my left fibular head.

Remember?  The GOOD leg, that has now suddenly gone BAD?

What the hell is the deal with this anyway?  Last year, all I dreamed of was a good right leg.  Now I have a right leg that gives me no problems whatsoever, and the damn left leg is running a muck.

Dear Running Gods,

This $h!t is not fair, man!

Sincerely,

Me.

So, if we rewound to last year, I would’ve just kept running, and then spent the next 6 months of my life enduring agony and frustration with each run.  Yesterday, with my better judgment solidly in tact, I got off of the treadmill.

And then I slurped my vanilla bean GU…because didn’t I deserve to have dessert after running 4 miles and having a knee pain?

Actually, I slurped the GU because my game plan was to get on the bike and finish out my 2.5 hours of cardio time (I’m anticipating that my finish for the Disney Princess 1/2 will be between 2:15-2:30).  After watching the end of a creepy documentary about the “real” Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the beginning of the Housewives of NYC episode where Bethenny and Jill get all girly catfight at a charity auction event, I decided that I had enough.

I was bored of the bike (and I had already seen that episode of the Housewives 43 times anyway), so I stopped.

I justified this decision fully because, well, I had a fridge full of vegetables at home that weren’t going to roast themselves!

Not to mention, my new Nike Free 5.0′s are causing the most heinous blisters on the entire bottom of each of my little baby toes.  I’m rethinking my decision to attempt the break in of a new pair of shoes 2 weeks before the race.

I also never said I was smart.

I might have to resort to running in my old Nike Pegasus 25′s…in order to preserve what little skin I have remaining on my toes.

In any case, I’m kind of ready for the race, and kind of not ready for the race.  I only hope that the “twinge” was just my knee’s way of telling me that it was craving roasted vegetables.

* Have you joined my Facebook Group yet?

* See how my training is going over here!

* Looking for my eBook?

*Check out my body image project!

The Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon is only a mere 13 days away.

That means that I will be in Florida in 9 days!

Nine.  Days.

Vacation in NINE DAYS!!  Yay!!

So.  Back to the matter at hand.  The Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon is only 13 days away.  I got slightly sidetracked for about 1.5 weeks due to the Great Snowpocalypse of 2010.  My gym was literally closed, so no running was to be had.  As a result, I missed one of my long runs (I believe it was the 7 miler), and it set me back a week on my training.

My running schedule has been very easy: Tuesday recovery run, Thursday is my mid-week longish run, and Saturday or Sunday is my long run.  That’s it.  Three days of running.  In addition to running, I’ve been doing kickboxing on Monday and Wednesday for 45 minutes (which is very high impact and intense), and one day of core and stretching.  I’ve tried hard to keep things well-rounded this time, so as not to revisit Joggerslife Kneehab, 2009 Edition.

In order to feel the least affect from my Snowmagadon-induced long run folly, I decided to bump up my weekday runs the following week.  I was supposed to do 2, 4, 8 that week, but instead I did 3, 5, 7–which put me 1 mile over my weekly mileage goal, but still didn’t have to bump up my weekend run to get there.  My past injuries have taught me that when I try to ‘kill it’ and bump up that long run before I’m ready, that’s when all hell breaks loose.

Since the Snowcation, I have been right on schedule with my runs, and last week, I even banged out my 2 mile recovery run in 20:15–which felt like a miracle of sorts.  Especially since I felt fantastic the entire run.  However, the fact that I ran a “recovery” run faster than even my normal race pace was maybe not the smartest idea…but it doesn’t appear that I’m any worse for the wear, so I’m just going with it.

In any case, tonight I did my first 10-mile treadmill run ever, and it went pretty well.  I just took it very slow–10 miles in 1:58, which is about 11:45/mile.  That’s slow.  I got wicked bored around mile 7, which is my major gripe with the treadmill.

The only thing that kept me going were these:

After searching for over a month for a pair of Vibram Five Fingers in my size (39 must be like the most popular size or something), I got sick of waiting.  After doing some research, I learned that these Nike Free 5.0 V4′s are touted as a barefoot running alternative, so I jumped on board.  I bought them yesterday for $85, which is basically the same price as a pair of VFF’s.

It might not have been prudent to inaugurate these bad boys with a 10 mile long run, but I went for it.  I’m impatient like that.  The verdict is that I like them, but I definitely feel the difference between these and my standard Nike Air Pegasus 25′s.  It’s been about an hour since I finished my run, and my forefoot and ankles feel notably sore.  However, research is starting to show that the mark of a good runner is in the strength of their feet, so this soreness is most likely just a sign that I’m running correctly for a change…that makes me happy.

I’m all about making 2010 an injury-free year, so hopefully my Nike Free’s will help me achieve that goal!

* Have you joined my Facebook Group yet?

* See how my training is going over here!

* Looking for my eBook?

*Check out my body image project!

My day started out fine.  No drama.

Chipotle for lunch with Restaurant Boy.

I mean really.  How can you go wrong with Restaurant Boy?

You might not have known this because I’ve never told you, but I have never really enjoyed Chipotle in the past.  The reason is because it has always hurt my guts.  I never understood the whole thing, since I know that Chipotle uses all natural ingredients.  It just didn’t make sense.  I cut meat out of the bowl, and it still hurt my guts.  About 2 weeks ago, I gave it another whirl.

Because I am a constant source of self-torture.

This time, I omitted the rice.

Pinto beans, peppers & onions, corn and medium green salsa, guacamole, and lots of lettuce.  BINGO!  WE HAVE A WINNER!   A non-gut-aching vegetarian fajita bowl for your girl.  No intestinal revolt.  So, I’ve basically been eating Chipotle now at every other meal.

So when a day starts out with Restaurant Boy and Chipotle, it can only get better, right?!

Right?

Wrong.

For the entire day, I was dreading my run.  Walked to the copier, dreading my run.  Walked to refill my water bottle, dreading my run.  Foam rolled my sore hamstrings, dreading my run.

Tonight, I didn’t want to run.  at.all.

I was tired and so sore from kickboxing class, and the only thing that I really wanted to do was go home, curl up on the futon with some steamed veggies, and catch up on Tough Love and Teen Mom.

I really am not lying when I tell you that I’m a reality TV addict.  My problem doesn’t end with just botox-injected one-hit wonders.

So, what I’m trying to say is that I wanted to go home.  Running was the last thing I wanted to do.

I attend the most insane kickboxing class now on Mondays and Wednesdays.  On Monday, we low crawled.  As in ‘combat training low crawl’.  As in, dragging ones lifeless legs behind oneself using only ones elbows.  This causes bodily injury.

See, the problem with this insane class is that there is no room to be lazy.  If you’re not working out on the days when you’re not kickboxing, you’re getting beat the hail up in class on Monday and Wednesday.  You will be abused, chewed up, and spit out.  The fact that I refuse to be defeated is also part of the problem as well, I would imagine.

I have to get my runs in so that I can finish the Disney Princess 1/2 in March.

I have to do my cross and weight training so that I don’t get injured again like I did in 2009.

These are not things that I can be lazy about.  I hated being hurt, and the reason I was hurt is because I was slacking.  So, when I feel like slacking, I have to think twice about it now, and just look forward to my next rest day.  As I slogged along after work, and procrastinated, I just kept thinking about the fact that tomorrow was my rest day.

If by rest, you mean working for 8 hours, grocery shopping, and generally running errands like a crazy lady, then yes…definitely a rest day.

So.  I needed to be motivated, and I did what any reasonable person would do.  I went in the bathroom, changed into my Skirtsports running skirt and tank (which strangely resembles something that I would’ve worn to the club back in the day), and I proceeded to examine my growing baby muscles in the mirror.

Everyone does this, right?

Right?

And then I focused…er something.  Who knows what this face is.

Ha!  Do you see that silly little gun making an appearance?  I haven’t seen that thing in years.

I think it’s even grown since I last LOVED MYSELF.

No, I’m not sniffing my armpit here.

After a full on photo shoot, I stopped procrastinating and got my a$$ to the gym.  Several minutes and 4 miles later, it was over, and I was glad that I sucked it up and went.

And the guns are growing baby!  Woo!

* Have you joined my Facebook Group yet?

* See how my training is going over here!

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I began training for the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon about 3 weeks ago.  The race is on March 7, 2010, and after all of my training issues over the past year, I decided that this time I was going to be gentle.

If you know me or read me, you will also know that “gentle” is my own personal antonym.

To emit anything of a “gentle” nature is completely foreign and torturous.

I say too much, I do too much, I love too much, and I generally care too much.  All in a very non-gentle fashion.  Although my intentions are always genuine, and my actions are always true, I am so UN-gentle that people often mistake my bold and brash tendencies as being disingenuous.

I swear…I really do care THAT much.

I really am THAT nice.

I really WOULD pick you up and drive you across the country if you needed to visit your aunt.

And I’d probably buy you a Diet Pepsi and some Cinnamon Gummi Bears for the road (but that would be a semi-selfish purchase because I’d make you share the cinna gummi’s).

It’s just the way I am.

But there is nothing gentle about it.

All of this bibble-babble aside, when I realized and truly owned the fact that I needed to train for the Disney Princess 1/2 in a gentle fashion, I was sure that I would most definitely self combust in the process.

I am the girl who “ran” The Baltimore Marathon after injuring herself in like week 4 of training.  And I was technically still injured from my previous training.  I just don’t DO gentle.

But, I’m DOING gentle.

I chose to bunk all of the ideas about whose training plan I needed to follow this time.  Hal Higdon is a training genius and all, and I’m sure that Nike’s training plan is killer, but all of this talk about who is doing which training plan has begun to feel like some sort of high school click.

“The COOL kids are using the [insert name] plan”.

Screw that.  Your girl is following her own damn plan this time.  My internal plan.  The one that my body guides me through.  The theme for life right now seems to be “get in touch with your own body, sista.”

It’s all very Chi of me, no?

(and I’m not speaking of the flat-iron-variety Chi this time)

I just cannot be held to the expectations of another person’s training schedule.  I’m doing me this time (in a strictly “G” rated fashion).

I have a plan, but it’s MY plan.

Errr…hopefully I don’t die at the end.

Have you tried following your own training plan in the past?  How did it go?

* Have you joined my Facebook Group yet?

* See how my training is going over here!

* Looking for my eBook?

*Check out my body image project!

I love nice, neat plans.  I’m an accountant.  We like spreadsheets and analysis and organization.

Remember this?

This was the plan that would successfully take me from The Boilermaker 15K to The Baltimore Marathon in 18 weeks.

Wasn’t is such a pretty, organized, neat plan?

I loved it.  Everything looked so predictable.  Stable.  Dependable.

Well guess what?

My training plan has gone from great to ugly in two months.

My ego is bruised.  My Sista ran 20 miles yesterday (breezed through it, by the way), while I ran 3 miles and biked 5 before I had to bail because I thought I might pass out.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of her.  She’s accomplishing something that she never thought she could do; but I wish things were happening a little easier for me.

I’ve been feeling run-down for about a week now.  I’m trying to ward off the ick, but I’m pretty sure that I’ve picked the most inconvenient time to come down with an illness.

Looking on the bright side, my 3 miles were painless.

Meh.  That’s not really much of a constellation for me at this point.  The marathon is a little over a week away, and I’m going to be thankful  to just finish within the 7 hours that they allow before closing the streets.  I will be very heartbroken and embarrassed if it takes me more than 7 hours to finish this race.

I’m trying to think positive thoughts, but it’s really difficult to do when the odds seem to continue stacking against me.

Frustrating.

Very, very frustrating.

* Have you joined my Facebook Group yet?

* See how my training is going over here!

* Wonder what I’m eating?

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