I anticipated that wedding cake shopping would be much more fun than wedding dress shopping, and I was correct.

Today, I went to JP’s Kake Korner, which is a cute little bakery near my house.

I mean really.  How can you not love this place?  It has pink shutters.

In case you have missed my previous wedding posts, the theme of our wedding is “Old Hollywood”, and my intention is to channel all things Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Jean Harlow.  With a little Betty Page thrown in for good measure.

My initial cake inspiration was based on our dessert table (insert red in for the yellow aspects, and remove the funky grapefruit-esque cake):

I plan to bless this table with an abundance of cookies, candy, and other diabetic-coma-inducing elements.  I have visions of buying every single red candy available from CandyFavorites.com, and stuffing all of the little plates and dishes that I found on eBay full of the good stuff.  I’m exaggerating.  I won’t fill every dish with red candy.

There’s a fine line between cute and tacky.

The point is that I have put a lot of thought into this table, and since I’m trying to keep my flower budget to a minimum, this table needs to do double duty: dessert and decor.

My plan is to have 3 different cakes.  One cake (to replace the wonky grapefruit-ish cake) will be 2-tiered.  The top tier will be a 6″ square cake (saved for our 1 year anniversary), and the bottom tier will be a 10″ round cake.  In addition, there will be a 6″ round cake to the right (replace the yellow “lemon” slices), and to the left there will be an 8″ round cake (replace the yellow-topped cupcakes).

The design of the cakes themselves are inspired by these:

We will have a Swarovski crystal “S” as a cake topper, along the line of the one on this cake.  I like the scroll work on this cake as well.

I’m not crazy about the weird swirly affects on this cake, but our cake will look like this with the round cake on the bottom and the square cake on top, with black satin ribbon (and scroll work instead of the weird swirly-flowery things).

Our cake will have red roses on top, around the Swarovski “S”.  So, it’ll be more like this:

…and with a square top.

…with scroll work on the top layer as well.

But you get the idea.

I popped into JP’s Kake Korner today on a whim, and expected to receive an astronomical price for my cake demands.  The average cost of a wedding in the VA/MD/DC area is upwards of $25,000, and cakes are expensive business, people.  I was intending on having a friend make the cake, but figured I’d at least get a price and see if I’m able to fit a stress-free cake into the budget.

I was delighted when Diane, the owner of JP’s gave me a quote of $175.00.  That price is to feed 50-60 guests, and we will have to pick up the cake on the day of the wedding and set it up on our own.  But, that’s no big deal in my book.  It would be an additional $35 to have the cake delivered and set up.

And, as if the reasonable price tag wasn’t enough, Diane bribed me with these…

I mean seriously.  If someone offers your girl free cupcakes, she’s going to proudly announce her favorite flavors, impatiently wait for them to be placed in their neat little cupcake tray, and gleefully skip out the door.  Amen.

And then, she’s going to go home and eat them.

Hallelujah.

Of course, My Gazelle is inconveniently unable to eat anything with the word “sugar” in it at this time (I’ll do a post soon about his ABSTINENCE-RIDDEN black belt training cycle. Yes.  That kind of abstinence), so I had to try these cupcakes all by myself.

Oh darn.

He said that he trusts my judgment.

And, my judgment is as follows:

So, hopefully my cake-tasting skills are better than my Photoshop skills, eh?

What cake flavor would you choose?

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Since the theme of our wedding is “Old Hollywood”, I’m trying to maintain an old-school feeling in many of the elements that I’ve planned.  The decor that I’ve chosen so far has been retro-style, and my centerpieces will be simple red roses with black ostrich feathers.

And maybe a shiny (fake) rhinestone thrown in for good measure, because I cannot deny myself of anything shiny.

As soon as I decided to make the theme of the wedding “Old Hollywood”, I immediately knew that I wanted a finger wave hairstyle.  And, if you’ve been following along, it’s going to go smashingly with my dress, our chapel, and the decor.

I love Audrey Hepburn.  I love classic movies (before color film was even on the radar).  I love the culture and the romance and the disgusting indulgence of it all.  I love the bright red lipstick and the outlandish black eyeliner.  And I love the finger wave.  Old fashioned or modern, it just doesn’t matter.  I simply love the finger wave.

When I think of the modern finger wave, I think of Gwen Stefani.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because I’m 30-something, and she was the first mainstream chick to rock a finger wave in my era.   It doesn’t really matter why–the fact is that Gwen Stefani ROCKED the finger wave.

Christina Aguilera is also a modern pioneer of the finger wave.

And several other celebrities have jumped on the bandwagon.  Here are some of my favorites:

This is an interesting twist…but I’m not sure that I like how it is poofy at the ends.  You know that I hate poofy.  Poofy has the tendency of throwing me over the edge.

Simple and understated on Charlize.  I like the hair doo-dad used in this style.

Oh, Hi Greta!  I love you.

Did I mention that I love Greta too?  And I love her hair.

Nicole even gave the finger wave a shot.  With not much success, in my opinion…but she tried.

My head is way to big to pull this one off, but congrats to you, Kate Bosworth.

This is my favorite in the non-celebrity realm of finger waves.  I think that it’s gorgeous, although I would have to tame that poof on the side.  Just say no to poof.

So, what do you think?

To finger wave or not to finger wave?

Your girl needs all the help she can get.

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Has anyone else besides me noticed that wedding dresses are ridiculously overpriced?

Unfortunately, I am not the daughter of a real estate tycoon, so the $15,000 Vera Wang dress of my dreams is just not an option.  However, I am a modern woman! I know what I want! I ask for what I want! I get what I want!

Unless it is a $15,000 Vera Wang dress.

I knew very early on in this process that the most difficult part of my wedding planning was going to be finding a dress that both fit my personal taste as well as my budget.  In terms of budget, my goal was to spend $800 or less. I would bend up to $1,000, but I decided anything over that would just make my forehead sweaty and I might not be able to sleep at night.

In terms of actual wedding dress prices, I quickly learned that my budget goal seemed completely unattainable.

Although this is my second wedding, and some may argue that the wedding shouldn’t include anything that resembles a “real” wedding dress (Hi Mom…love you!), I wanted a beautiful wedding dress to properly celebrate my beautiful occasion.

And, you may not have picked up on this yet (even if you’ve been reading for a while), but although I am very laid-back regarding most life decisions, the ones that I actually care about are very important to me, and I am not very compromising in these situations. I’m the person who will search high and low before I’m willing to accept an alternative. That said, going into my dress search, I had a very concise list of demands.

(p.s…I also clean my kitchen counter with hydrogen peroxide up to 5 times per day…this might be a disorder).

My list of demands:

1) Fitted bodice with trumpet skirt.

2) Strapless/sleeveless.

3) Lace overlay.

4) Not white.

5) Not satin/shiny/slippery/poofy.

These are all factors that I wasn’t willing to bend on. And I wanted all of them. In one little neat package. Tied with a black satin bow. For under $800.

During my November trip to Tennessee to visit my BFF, we went to the shop where she bought her wedding dress so that I could try on dresses. I fell in love with a dress by Pronovias (the designer dress line that they often feature on those TLC wedding shows).

And, by ‘fell in love’, I mean that I was prepared to buy the dress on the spot, take it home, and wear it while I vacuumed and cleaned my kitchen counter.

Until I looked at the price.

The dress was $1892.

After I looked at the price, I curled up in the fetal position in the corner of the fitting room and cried like a baby.

I spent the next 24 hours in Tennessee trying to figure out a way to afford it, but I was SO against paying that much for a dress. I even went so far as to search eBay for the dress, and I found it for $1200. In the end, even though the dress was listed on eBay by a store that claimed to be an authorized Pronovias dealer, I was nervous about it being a fake and being of poor quality.

“Goodbye, beautiful Pronovias dress. I’ll never find another quite like you.”

Then I cried again.

Back to the drawing board.

After spending a few weeks mourning the loss of my Pronovias Rosana dress, I jumped back on the horse and made an appointment at the small bridal shop down the street from my house.

The shop is like 4 square feet big, so my expectations were very low.

I invited Mama Gazelle and another friend to come to the dress shop with me, and afterward, we planned to have lunch at the restaurant where we’ll be holding our dinner party after the wedding. I figured that even if I didn’t find a dress, at least I could count on a decent meal.

Or that food would console me after spending 2 fruitless hours trying on poofy satin dresses.

When I walked into the shop, I informed the owner and her assistant of my (demanding) requirements:

(I repeat)

1) Fitted bodice with trumpet skirt.

2) Strapless/sleeveless.

3) Lace overlay.

4) Not white.

5) Not satin/shiny/slippery/poofy.

Mama Gazelle and my friend picked out about 5 dresses for me, and the dress shop owner picked out like 5 more.  Imagine my utter amazement when every one of the 10 dresses were poofy, satin, shiny, had straps, and were white. Not a single one matched ANYTHING that I asked for.

**WAHHH…WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME…WAHHH…I’M A MIDDLE CHILD…WAHHHH…Bridezilla…WAHHH…MIDDLE CHILD…WAHHH**

I’m joking. I didn’t have a Bridezilla moment for real. Only in my head.  Needless to say, two of these dresses never even made it out of the dressing room for modeling purposes. One of them never even left the hanger. Poor dress.

Around dress #8, as I was getting into dress #9, I was beginning to lose my center.

“Do you guys even HAVE the type of dress I’m looking for?!”

To which the assistant answered:

“I don’t really think so……I’ll take another look around though.”

To which I answered:

(in my head)

“WELL THANKS FOR WASTING OVER AN HOUR OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK!”

(but in reality)

“OK, thank you very much.”

I finished putting on dress #9, and the assistant left the room to “look around”.  I stepped onto that annoying pedestal to look at myself in the equally-as-annoying 3 phase mirror; poofy, shiny, and poofy. And shiny.

Pissed. Sweating (wedding dresses are heavy, man), and pissed.

Then…all I saw was BEAUTY as the assistant came around the corner with a mannequin dressed in MY dress.

Lace overlay. Trumpet skirt. Light gold with gold accents. Sleeveless.

I might have gasped and jumped up and down. And I might have also yelled “THAT’S THE ONE!”  Everyone might have laughed at me.

I put it on, and it fit like a glove. I sheepishly looked at the price, and it was $825. The rest is history.

And, for those of you who sat through this whole entirely-too-detailed wedding dress story (and because I know that even My Gazelle didn’t make it this far, so there’s no risk of him seeing it), here is my dress.

And I love it!

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Since I was young, I’ve always been a party planner.  I don’t generally follow through with these parties, because they’re all about imagination and daydreaming.  However, when I plan these imaginary parties in my head, the one thing that I always ignore is The Budget–which I now endearingly refer to as “Le Boojay”.

Le Boojay is not my friend.  I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact that when my fun and vision is challenged by a boojay, I curl up in a ball and cry.  Begging for independent wealth and an overpriced wedding planner.

I won’t be working personally with Vera Wang like Ivanka did (although I would not have a problem with this…Vera, call me), and I will probably have to rig up my portable iPod speaker dock instead of hiring Khloe’s 10 piece orchestra.  This is the cold hard truth.  The reality is, I have a budget, and it is far below the average wedding budget in the DC metro area of $35-$50K.

Notwithstanding a huge dose of self-imposed doubt, my goal is to create a classy, modern wedding (complete with some  bold, retro, movie star qualities) for $11,200.  Caveat: this total must include a relatively fabulous 1-week long honeymoon outside of the United States, which in turn, also must include the cost to board our dogs for at least a week.

I’m quickly learning that in the DC Metro area, it’s exceedingly difficult to host anything more than a backyard BBQ for 30 guests with a budget of $11,200, much less a wedding and a honeymoon.

At this point, I feel like I’m part of Operation: Impossible Wedding Budget.

We could always just opt for the cheapest alternative with a courthouse wedding and dinner at The Texas Roadhouse.  That’s sure to save us $11,125 in the long run.  Unfortunately (fortunately?), that is just not how I want to commemorate our first day together as a married couple. I want to celebrate our wedding with the close members of our family.

Close.

Which leads me to the next dilemma: the guest list.  Everyone is going to be offended when they’re not on the list.  We’re literally only inviting 60 people.  Including children.  Including guests and spouses.  That’s all we can afford (because our semi-fabulous honeymoon ranks slightly higher on the priority list than does familial harmony).

We had to set a limit, and only choose the people who are closest to us.  Plus a few people who are directly involved in the guaranteed continuity of my employment.  I thought better of excluding them from the list.  I kind of need a job in order to pay for this shin dig, ya know!

I’ve already mentioned our wedding location, which only cost $200 for 4 hours.  This includes using an hour of that time the night before for our rehearsal.

However, what I haven’t yet mentioned is that thanks to all of the wonderful ideas on the Amy Atlas Events website, I have grand ideas for my dessert table…

With this ultra-cool tablecloth in place of the yellow…

And red flowers and accents instead of the yellow ones.

Again, thanks to Amy Atlas, I’m daydreaming about my guest tables looking like this…

Minus the individual hand-painted fondant wedding cakes.  I am certain that the boojay doesn’t include those!

I have managed to find a few solutions, and have so far purchased that fantastic tablecloth, cylindrical vases for the tables (and dessert table), and various melamine plates and bowls to accomplish the other features on the dessert table.  I’m not certain how it’s going to work out as of yet, but luckily I have 11 months to repeatedly screw it up and try again.

I have also designed and built the prototype for my save the date cards and invitations.  Despite my initial thought, I don’t really feel as though creating them myself is going to save me any money.  It’s possible that I’m being overly complicated and perfectionist-like, but I created the exact save the date cards and invitations that I wanted.  Maybe that’s the problem with being crafty–I always want to do these things myself.

Could I have paid someone else to make them for less than $300.62?  Probably, but I didn’t have to compromise on getting exactly what I wanted.  I’ll show you these in a future post.

To date, this is what yer girl’s working with:

And, I’m getting a little nervous.  I’ve already spent 11% of my budget, and I haven’t even done anything particularly important.  Scary.

So, anyone who has planned a budget wedding can feel free to chime in here.  Help!

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• Full-time accountant
• Freelance writer
• Part-time Mother
• Pretend blogger
• Exerciser
• Full-time crazy person
• Wedding planner

In essence, I took a 12″ plate fit for a buffet, piled it high, and then decided to order a side of fruit, yogurt, and granola.  And cookies.  And ice cream.  Lots of cookies and ice cream.

Ironically, that kind of sums up my dietary selections lately as well.

Despite all of the crazy that I have birthed, I welcome the chaos.

Besides my problem of taking on too much at once, I also can’t stand having responsibilities looming over my head.  I like the idea of getting a job finished quickly so that I don’t have to worry about it anymore.  For that reason, I’ve almost planned my entire wedding.

Already.

Six days post-proposal.

That’s kind of just how I roll.

Also ironically, My Gazelle and I had discussed the wedding basics last week on Wednesday (he proposed on Friday).  We decided at that point that we would get married in a tiny local church called Dorsey Chapel.  It holds historical significance in the area because it was  built in 1900 to serve the black farming community of the area because there was no other Methodist church within comfortable walking distance.

The church was abandoned around 1971 when the congregation merged with another local congregation due to low attendance.  The church was planned for demolition in 1980, but was instead acquired by a group of local citizens, who then renovated the church and turned it over to the local Park Police.  Now, the restored church is adorable, and is rented out to people for weddings and such.

We looked at the chapel on Wednesday morning, and knew immediately with no hesitation that it was the place we wanted to be married.  The chapel itself has five pews on each side, and each pew seats 5 people.  Since it only seats 50 people, it is ideal for the intimate wedding that we’re planning.  Since this is my second wedding, I want to celebrate, but I’m not interested in going all out.

There are two old-school outhouses located behind the chapel, but luckily they have since been replaced by a separate building that contains two restrooms, an office, and a large room that can be used as a sitting room or a changing room.  It’s small, simple, and perfect for us.

Since the chapel sits on a beautiful wooded lot, it’s perfect for photographs.  Our wedding date is October 16, 2010, so the fall foliage is going to be amazing.  **sigh**  I always wanted a fall wedding!

I was so touched by all of your nice comments and congratulations on my Love and Marriage post.  Hopefully now you’ll all stick around while I manage my wedding craziness and get all of the details ironed out.  I’ve already planned my save the date announcements and invitations, and (shocker), I’ll be making them by myself.  So, stay tuned for my wedding series!  =)

p.s…I know Kobe is a gross cheater.  But he still looks good.  lol.

p.s.s…to all of you wonderful resort owners:  I would be happy to compose several very SEO friendly articles in return for a free honeymoon.  **wink, wink**  There’s no shame in my game.

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