Jiggling, Anxiety, and Forgotten Talents

by on October 22, 2010

In order to resolve my ectopic pregnancy, I was given a series of Methotrexate injections.  Methotrexate is a drug that is used in chemotherapy, and is administered in a lower dosage for other medical conditions, like ectopic pregnancy and rheumatoid arthritis.

I received two shots in the bum on Friday, September 17th, and two shots in the bum on Friday, September 24th.  It seems as though everyone’s experience with Methotrexate is different, and different people report different side effects.  The one thing that everyone tends to agree on, however, is that this drug causes extreme lethargy.

Personally, as a result of receiving the first shot (and then the second), the only thing I wanted to do is sleep for 3 weeks straight.  Basic life functions took all of the energy that I had.  Walking from the car to my house was sweat-inducing, and I usually felt like I needed a nap by the time I got inside.  Besides the BLAH Methotrexate side effects, I was prohibited (there’s that word again) from working out at all.  My doctor encouraged me to stay as inactive as possible, because there is always the risk of rupture with an ectopic.  Even though the Methotrexate injections were helping my hCG levels to fall, it didn’t mean that I was out of the woods.

As a result, I haven’t worked out since September 7th.

I did the math for you…

43 days.

Even while I was battling my wonky leg/knee/calf issues while training for The Baltimore Marathon in 2009, I didn’t go 43 days without working out.

Or even 7.

Or 5.

Maybe 3.

But not 43.

As a result of this slight shift of priority, three things have happened…

  1. I’ve become a little more jiggly than I normally am.
  2. I’ve had to develop other ways to occupy my anxious mind, since working out normally quells a lot of my anxiety.
  3. I’ve been given the opportunity to do a lot of (non-sweaty) things that I forgot I enjoyed.

Although I am aware of the jiggle, and I don’t necessarily enjoy that part of this process, I understand that this is just a piece of the puzzle.  I have to succumb to the jiggle in order to work through the other physical things that are being resolved at the moment.  I sincerely look forward to hitting the gym (and the skins) once my level is safely back at ZERO.

My anxious mind was a pretty big challenge during wedding planning and the weeks leading up to it.  Not only was I dealing with event planners, place cards that were never delivered, wine pricing (good GAWD), and guest lists that just could not be compromised, I also had three very important issues going on at work.  To say that I was “stressed” would be an understatement.  I lashed out at My Gazelle a few times, and I got snippy with my Mother more times than I’m willing to admit.

I may have also yelled at one or two people about the aforementioned wine, but I got through it.  A few years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined that I could get through a single day of normal life without working out, but I actually made it through the thick of wedding planning, audits and financial meetings at work, and general life upheaval…all without a single sweat fest.

And without committing a hari kari.

[not that I’ve ever wanted to commit a hari kari, but I like the word.]

I’m kind of impressed by myself.

Exploring many interests that I forgot I enjoyed was actually brought about when I owned it and started thinking about Sugared Bakery.  It’s still happening, and although I haven’t had an opportunity to do much with the Sugared Bakery portion of life lately, I have big plans over the next few months.

I have been making a lot of Coupon Binders lately as well.  Coincidentally, I received a bunch of orders around the same time that I was down for the count with this whole Methotrexate business.  Did you even know that I make Coupon Binders?  Some of you old-timers may remember that back when Jogger’s Life was just a wee baby, I talked a lot about saving money with coupons, because that’s where I was in life.  Since then, I don’t get to use many coupons because I mostly shop organic, and coupons for organic food  are few and far between.

However, around that time, I developed my own coupon organization system, complete with a two-part Youtube tutorial and website. The binders seem to have grown in popularity due to word of mouth, and I’m very happy about that(!!).  They’re now on Etsy as well as in their original online store.  Although this probably just sounds like a shameless plug (since I’m proud of them and happy that others like them), the ‘Great Binder Boom of 2010’ reminded me, at just the right time, that I have other talents and abilities that don’t involve sweating.

The downtime has forced me to slow down.  I’ve had more time to breathe, and more time to live.  For that, I’m very thankful.

What are you thankful for today?

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